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[Saturday May 16th, 2009 ] what a discovery! i can't believe this still exists. cmnt

[Tuesday February 27th, 2007 ] i hate time. i hate it so much. i think it has been screwing up my life...yes i am blaming it all on time. and as much as i love music i blame music for making me feel what i have been feeling lately too. i believe music intensifies my mood, feelings, and thoughts. i guess its good for most of the time but right now i feel like im at a low point in my life. i feel like i have fucked up my life in so many different ways. and yeah it could be worse but not for liz amidon because she never feels like this. this isn't how her life is supposed to be. its supposed to be perfect. im a perfectionist. i want everything to be perfect and right now i feel like my life is very very very very far from that. and yeah i know no one is perfect but people can try, can't they? and maybe it isn't always about everything being perfect but maybe about me being happy because right now i feel like i am just a stupid person who can't get their life in order. what has caused me to go down this road? i feel i have lost one of my best friends. how have i let that happen? i feel i have let everyone down and no one can depend on me..no one can trust me. my brother seems so mad at me lately like he hates me. im not even friends with my best friend travis. my mom and dad seem like they dont even trust me at all. and im such a slacker. i dont even trust myself and i can't even make myself do the right things and get the right things finished. okay im done with this pity party i dont even want to finish it. night 1 cmnt

horoscope [Monday February 26th, 2007 ] This can be a great time for you, as long as you don't base your enjoyment on fantasy alone. Difficulties can arise if you lose touch with the real world, but it's just as discouraging if you throw out your dreams. Keep edging closer to your spiritual pursuits, for they can also shine the light of truth on your current reality. Monday, February 26, 2007 its weird sometimes how your horoscope is so intact and true. cmnt

[Wednesday February 21st, 2007 ] so i keep posting so i can't see my old posts because i think they were kinda stupid lol. today was a good day. my days and weeks are getting more relaxed and fun but still i think im starting to slack. forcing yourself to complete homework or prepare for a test is SOOO hard sometimes. i have been procrastinating quite a lot lately and it kinda feels good until the very last minute. but im sure everyone knows how that feels. last weekend i went biking in lake parker and took pictures. it was such a beautiful cool day :) i can't wait to get the pics developed and then i will post them. i just hate the fact that you can see a stupid factory when you are standing by the water. it disgusts me! and also seeing a whole bunch of trash/pollution everywhere. :( tonight i think i might go see a play at Victory but im not positive. i saw a girl and guy fighting today and it made me laugh because i dont know what the hell is wrong with people sometimes. we are pretty much animalssss. yeah so this post isn't the least bit exciting and i wish it were but i guess its not so maybe next time! cmnt

[Tuesday February 20th, 2007 ] [ mood | okay ] i like having an el jay.  i guess right now i feel a lot better. at the beginning of the day and last night i was feeling really really really really bad but  i think as the sun got brighter and school got shorter i was starting to feel a lot better. i really can't ever keep to my words. i try so bad to forget bad feelings by disappearing and avoiding but honestly i can't. i already want to get back to  feeling good and not caring. i just want to take chances and not worry about the consequences. i want to do what i want without any worries. i hate how things are sometimes. i feel like im so independent and sometimes i feel so held back by things. i don't want to anymore. i am trying to ween myself from johnny lol so when he does leave its not so sudden. i told him this and what i love about him is he is acceptable of it..he understands :) i think i am such a pisces because one part of me doesn't care at all and then there is a rational liz that really does care and then worries about the outcome. i guess i shouldn't go overboard. i need to keep a foot planted in reality so my head doesn't drift into the clouds. i want to grow up so fast and be on my own making my own decisions. oh yeah forgot to tell you. i don't have a best friend anymore...hes a little too preoccupied with "better" things. like a girl. i guess it really doesn't matter in the end how long you've known him or how long you have cared about him. it all goes back to how much a$$ he can get. which is pretty sad :-\ but i have learned to not worry about it or i guess try :) as of right now i think i feel pretty okay. 3 cmnt

[Monday February 19th, 2007 ] oh God, what is wrong with me? refrain from commenting please. cmnt

[Monday February 19th, 2007 ] okay so i wanted to make a new lj and i did and it sucked. i miss this one and i love this one and uhhh yes. i feel really bad right now and guilty and upset and confused. im not sure anyone will see this comment because this is the first post in a LONG time and well im not sure how many people still use theirs. but things started out great at the beginning of the year and now i feel so vulnerable and willing to do anything to feel alive. i can't focus anymore on school work and i dont think i am trying my hardest like i did 1st semester. i have been distracted a lot and so confused with things. its like my life seemed perfect. johnny and i loved each other, i was doing awesome in all my classes, i wanted to do awesome in all my classes...i guess im a perfectionist but it seems so different lately like i am taking chances i shouldn't be and doing things that aren't exactly good for me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I guess that sounds like i would be doing something insane and it really isn't i guess. i just feel so distracted and i can't focus and its more like my priorities have shifted. im not sure if in the end it will hurt me or what but i guess sometimes people can't control how they are. i have been wanting to post on lj because i miss venting my feelings. and lately i guess i have been feeling a lot of them. i was looking at my previous posts and i can't remember how i felt then..its weird reading them. 3 cmnt

[Sunday February 12th, 2006 ] OKAY IM GETTING A NEW LIVEJOURNAL ANY SUGGESTIONS ON THE USERNAME??!!? lets_go_fishing lala_liz liz_da_shiz sail_away something to do with sail boats? fish? my name? anything?? come on people give me suggestions and also please someone help me customize it..annie????? I LOVE YOU BOO. COMMENT NOW NOW NOW !!@!$@! 13 cmnt

[Monday February 6th, 2006 ] [ mood | bitchy ] WELL POOP. i have been so tired and busy with A BUNCH OF CRAP! yeaz thats right a bunch of crappp. i have track and its pretty much a BITCH. i want to do tennis and i dont know if its too late :( um fcat writes tomorrow, im gonna get a 6 FO SHO. you know what im saying/?? yeah im babbling jsut typing what comes to my mind and what not. gotta do this shitty essay for english ap and yup i gotta STUPID CHUCK FUCKIN THACKERS chemisTRY and yeah what else? umm i got to do some make up work for Mrs. old ass Rudd cuz i was absent on friday because my mom thought my spleen was enlarged and for you people that dont know what that be, it be bad and yeah it turns out i just strained my body and pulled a muscle OOOOO. yeah still doing track and what not and well damn im so negative. ONE POSITIVE THING. i got a 10 gallon fish tank and i got 12 fish but then TWO died. one died a minute ago but it was stupid fish, so thats okay and i miss them but i get some more. the fish i have in there ar AMAZING. and pretty and for those who dont know i am semi obsessed with fish because they are cool as hell. ya and real pretty and im just babbling like i said befoer because i was thinking oh what the heck i should just update this dang thing once in a while and it dont even matter what i say and if it doesnt make sense because no one cares anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO IN SHORT, i hope my days get better and i better get a 6 tomorrow. THE End!#!@$#^$&%^^&%^#$# 8 cmnt

ANNIE TAGGED ME LIKE SOO long ago... [Monday January 16th, 2006 ] annie tagged me to do this...like a long time ago and i am just now doing it cuz yeahhh. here's the thing, i post 5 weird and/or quirky habits of mine 1) i play with my fingers and fingernails when i am stressed or bored and other peoples 2) when i pass by people in cars i make weird faces but no one in the car that im in knows it. 3) sometimes i do get sudden urges to just MAKE A FIRE and play with it 4) i freak out when i think my hair is damaged and ask people constantly 5) when im bored i like to annoy johnny or tickle him for no reason!!!!! ? hah why havent i talked to you annie in a while? this is CRAZYINESS. 7 cmnt

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