a face without eyes & a room with no view

Sun, 17 May 2009 03:51:41 GMT

what a discovery!

i can't believe this still exists.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 06:12:21 GMT

i hate time.

i hate it so much.

i think it has been screwing up my life...yes i am blaming it all on time. and as much as i love music i blame music for making me feel what i have been feeling lately too. i believe music intensifies my mood, feelings, and thoughts. i guess its good for most of the time but right now i feel like im at a low point in my life.

i feel like i have fucked up my life in so many different ways. and yeah it could be worse but not for liz amidon because she never feels like this. this isn't how her life is supposed to be. its supposed to be perfect. im a perfectionist. i want everything to be perfect and right now i feel like my life is very very very very far from that. and yeah i know no one is perfect but people can try, can't they? and maybe it isn't always about everything being perfect but maybe about me being happy because right now i feel like i am just a stupid person who can't get their life in order.

what has caused me to go down this road? i feel i have lost one of my best friends. how have i let that happen? i feel i have let everyone down and no one can depend on me..no one can trust me. my brother seems so mad at me lately like he hates me. im not even friends with my best friend travis. my mom and dad seem like they dont even trust me at all. and im such a slacker. i dont even trust myself and i can't even make myself do the right things and get the right things finished.

okay im done with this pity party i dont even want to finish it.
night

horoscope

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:50:22 GMT

This can be a great time for you, as long as you don't base your enjoyment on fantasy alone. Difficulties can arise if you lose touch with the real world, but it's just as discouraging if you throw out your dreams. Keep edging closer to your spiritual pursuits, for they can also shine the light of truth on your current reality. Monday, February 26, 2007

its weird sometimes how your horoscope is so intact and true.

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 19:55:03 GMT

so i keep posting so i can't see my old posts because i think they were kinda stupid lol.

today was a good day. my days and weeks are getting more relaxed and fun but still i think im starting to slack. forcing yourself to complete homework or prepare for a test is SOOO hard sometimes. i have been procrastinating quite a lot lately and it kinda feels good until the very last minute. but im sure everyone knows how that feels.

last weekend i went biking in lake parker and took pictures. it was such a beautiful cool day :) i can't wait to get the pics developed and then i will post them. i just hate the fact that you can see a stupid factory when you are standing by the water. it disgusts me! and also seeing a whole bunch of trash/pollution everywhere. :(

tonight i think i might go see a play at Victory but im not positive.

i saw a girl and guy fighting today and it made me laugh because i dont know what the hell is wrong with people sometimes. we are pretty much animalssss.

yeah so this post isn't the least bit exciting and i wish it were but i guess its not so maybe next time!

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:16:34 GMT

i like having an el jay. i guess right now i feel a lot better. at the beginning of the day and last night i was feeling really really really really bad but i think as the sun got brighter and school got shorter i was starting to feel a lot better. i really can't ever keep to my words. i try so bad to forget bad feelings by disappearing and avoiding but honestly i can't. i already want to get back to feeling good and not caring. i just want to take chances and not worry about the consequences. i want to do what i want without any worries. i hate how things are sometimes. i feel like im so independent and sometimes i feel so held back by things.

i don't want to anymore.

i am trying to ween myself from johnny lol so when he does leave its not so sudden. i told him this and what i love about him is he is acceptable of it..he understands :)

i think i am such a pisces because one part of me doesn't care at all and then there is a rational liz that really does care and then worries about the outcome. i guess i shouldn't go overboard. i need to keep a foot planted in reality so my head doesn't drift into the clouds.

i want to grow up so fast and be on my own making my own decisions.

oh yeah forgot to tell you. i don't have a best friend anymore...hes a little too preoccupied with "better" things. like a girl. i guess it really doesn't matter in the end how long you've known him or how long you have cared about him. it all goes back to how much a$$ he can get. which is pretty sad :-\ but i have learned to not worry about it or i guess try :)

as of right now i think i feel pretty okay.

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:41:38 GMT

oh God, what is wrong with me?

refrain from commenting please.

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 16:00:53 GMT

okay so i wanted to make a new lj and i did and it sucked. i miss this one and i love this one and uhhh yes. i feel really bad right now and guilty and upset and confused. im not sure anyone will see this comment because this is the first post in a LONG time and well im not sure how many people still use theirs.

but things started out great at the beginning of the year and now i feel so vulnerable and willing to do anything to feel alive. i can't focus anymore on school work and i dont think i am trying my hardest like i did 1st semester. i have been distracted a lot and so confused with things. its like my life seemed perfect. johnny and i loved each other, i was doing awesome in all my classes, i wanted to do awesome in all my classes...i guess im a perfectionist but it seems so different lately like i am taking chances i shouldn't be and doing things that aren't exactly good for me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I guess that sounds like i would be doing something insane and it really isn't i guess.

i just feel so distracted and i can't focus and its more like my priorities have shifted. im not sure if in the end it will hurt me or what but i guess sometimes people can't control how they are.

i have been wanting to post on lj because i miss venting my feelings. and lately i guess i have been feeling a lot of them.
i was looking at my previous posts and i can't remember how i felt then..its weird reading them.

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 17:38:00 GMT

OKAY IM GETTING A NEW LIVEJOURNAL ANY SUGGESTIONS ON THE USERNAME??!!?

lets_go_fishing
lala_liz
liz_da_shiz
sail_away
something to do with sail boats? fish? my name? anything??

come on people give me suggestions and also please someone help me customize it..annie????? I LOVE YOU BOO.

COMMENT NOW NOW NOW
!!@!$@!

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 23:52:02 GMT

WELL POOP.

i have been so tired and busy with A BUNCH OF CRAP!

yeaz thats right a bunch of crappp.
i have track and its pretty much a BITCH. i want to do tennis and i dont know if its too late :(
um fcat writes tomorrow, im gonna get a 6 FO SHO. you know what im saying/?? yeah im babbling jsut typing what comes to my mind and what not.

gotta do this shitty essay for english ap and yup i gotta STUPID CHUCK FUCKIN THACKERS chemisTRY and yeah what else? umm i got to do some make up work for Mrs. old ass Rudd cuz i was absent on friday because my mom thought my spleen was enlarged and for you people that dont know what that be, it be bad and yeah it turns out i just strained my body and pulled a muscle OOOOO. yeah still doing track and what not and well damn im so negative.

ONE POSITIVE THING.
i got a 10 gallon fish tank and i got 12 fish but then TWO died. one died a minute ago but it was stupid fish, so thats okay and i miss them but i get some more. the fish i have in there ar AMAZING. and pretty and for those who dont know i am semi obsessed with fish because they are cool as hell. ya and real pretty and im just babbling like i said befoer because i was thinking oh what the heck i should just update this dang thing once in a while and it dont even matter what i say and if it doesnt make sense because no one cares anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO IN SHORT, i hope my days get better and i better get a 6 tomorrow.

THE End!#!@$#^$&%^^&%^#$#

ANNIE TAGGED ME LIKE SOO long ago...

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 15:25:03 GMT

annie tagged me to do this...like a long time ago and i am just now doing it cuz yeahhh.

here's the thing, i post 5 weird and/or quirky habits of mine
1) i play with my fingers and fingernails when i am stressed or bored and other peoples
2) when i pass by people in cars i make weird faces but no one in the car that im in knows it.
3) sometimes i do get sudden urges to just MAKE A FIRE and play with it
4) i freak out when i think my hair is damaged and ask people constantly
5) when im bored i like to annoy johnny or tickle him for no reason!!!!! ? hah

why havent i talked to you annie in a while? this is CRAZYINESS.

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 22:29:46 GMT

im updating because i havent in a while and i dont have anything else to do.

my break has been good im not going to complain. i hung out with johnny plenty except for the first week he was gone when i visited the other people {travis lacy emily my sister steve attempted lauren?} i wish annie.
i did a lot of thinking.
i hung out with two of my old close friends from my old school. tyler & max.
i miss my past so much...i dont think its healthy for me. i never thought it was true when situations always happen and two people end up not even being friends because "people change" but i have thought over and over again what could have gone wrong when it happened to me. the only excuse is left and people do really change. i hate it so much with such a passion because its like you want to go back so bad you just wish so bad that those people didnt change but i didnt see it coming. i wish i could change it. its too late now.

i love my old friends..my true friends.

every person has to feel some sort of belong right? i feel so inbetween. theres no group right for me? i dont know where i belong. im one of those inbetween people. i look at my old friends myspace and i see them together with all of their best friends so happy {or so it seems} and i feel like there is such a huge chunk i am missing in my life. what has gone wrong? the one girl, my best friend, that i thought i was the closest and happiest with has abondoned me? has decided we arent right enough to be friends? whats the reason for this to happen? and i have really come to conclusion that PEOPLE CHANGE. and i cant do anything about it.

one of the worst feelings in the entire world is..being replaced.

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 02:40:38 GMT

GUESS FREAKIN WHAT?
I GOT MY HAIR CUTTTTTTT AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

it fits me...its so me and thats what i love best about it.
love you all<3
oh ya i will post some BEFORE AND AFTER PICS heck ya.

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 22:33:30 GMT

so i found this interesting shirt in a drawl....

i have decided to make it a shirt i would wear! i dont know though, i really like it in my opinion but im just weird so honestly tell me what you think!!! i dont want people to think im just TOO crazy.

:) im interested in what all of you thinkkk

mmmz elegance!

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 05:10:31 GMT

i had my first soccer game against lakeland highschool. it really upset me because i think i had to mark their best player. i tried as best as i could and got really upset and cried all after the game. i dont think anything like a soccer game has upset me that much before...sigh. i think i lost a friend too. she really hurt my feelings and she has really changed...maybe im typing this so she can see it. because what she did was mean and immature and made me cry too.

-thanks though for EVERYTHING.

and that was just about the stupidest post i have ever made.

BUT I LOVE MY PRINCE CHARMING!!!!
AND ALL OF MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS MMMz

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 21:06:25 GMT

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 01:20:17 GMT

i have decided...i dont like my livejournal user name anymore.

i think i will change it soon.

im in love, and i love it!

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 02:32:59 GMT

oh my gosh.

i am so deeply in love.

no one could possibly be more in love than me.

my one year yesterday..how lovely.

AND I HOPE MANY MORE TO COME!!!
♥

u know your jealous!

yeah we are pizzimps for real.

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 13:41:35 GMT

ANNIEEEEEEEEEEEE
&
KATZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

*if you would like to reach me and do not have my phone #
Cell=698-2911 AND NO PRANK PHONE CALLS PEOPLE! jk :)

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 00:58:35 GMT

i have been busting my a$$ at school doing so much work and i have come to a conclusion...I NEED A EFFIN FRIGGEN BREAK.

so tell me if u are interested in taking a lovely ride down to lake mirror to lay in the grass with me on a windy day. we can watch the sun set and take 100000 pictures. we can act like children and play on the playground. we can dress in long skirts so when we run and do cartwheels are panties will show proudly and then listen to music like theres no tomorrow....

sigh, my sister was always here to do this with me but now shes gone...:(

any takers?

drop a thought

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 03:00:24 GMT

DEAR EVERYONE,

don't make promises you can't keep.

sincerely, Liz.

hum.

Tue, 04 Oct 2005 01:00:51 GMT

i feel awful. i dont even know why, no wait maybe i do. but i just dont know how to put my confused mixed up feelings into words. i havent had a serious conversation with a girl in a while and i miss it. a lot. i have always had a theory girls cant be together for a long time just because in the end things never work out. or maybe just for me. im looking back on all my past friendships with girls and nothing ever seemed to work out. i mean one minute you are on such a high, bestest friends with this girl..she means the world to you..shes like your sister and the next minute this girl hates, resents, envys you. that one person you thought you could trust the most. jealousy really ruins things. it can really make a person talk. and now that my sisters gone..all opportunities to talk with a girl seriously are gone. this has nothing to do with the way i feel or actually maybe it does.... one thing i really dislike or maybe even hate is when friends say to other friends "lets get together" or "lets hang out" i admit i do it. everyone does it. as much as people say it, 99% of the time people never follow through with their words. i think thats sad and very pathetic. i miss things and people in life. i wish i was back in kindergaten where everything was so simple and easy. sigh i really dont know everything im typing out but i feel worried and sick and bad about life right now and i wish i could just lay in bed and forget it all... i dont like my homecoming dress very much. i ♥ huckabees is my very favorite movie ever.i just adore the hell out of it.

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 13:31:34 GMT

guess what? i think this is the most i have posted in my el jay in a longggg time but i just wanted to tell everyone..

I LOVEEEEEEE FISH.
so lets go fishing but not keep the fish and kill them but catch them and then let them go back to their home!

this is my beautiful collage that i created for a classsss

oh no.

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 02:24:58 GMT

sigh...it makes me panic when i think that today is the first day of autumn.

its really sad my favorite season is ending...im going to miss the really hot humid nights, blazing afternoons,the perfect weather for trips to the beach, those summer memories and midnight rendezvous. everything was so windy& so messy and out of place and thats how i liked it...

wishing everyone a HAPPY AUTUMN!!!

OH MY ^^&(% GOSH IM CLIMBING THE LADDER UP TO COOLNESS

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 01:10:26 GMT

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK]

You are Trendy...

You're a trendsetter.. well more of a trend follower. You have a few 'cool' friends who don't mind you hanging around for a laugh. It won't be long before you're climbing the ladder to cool status. Keep up the good work!!

Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

LOOK EVERYONE IM GETTIN COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

i want to do my own thing.

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 01:36:22 GMT

trying not to care, when i feel left out. its hard...but i think i can.

i love everyone sooooooo much and everyone that i have met
♥